The day I met Him I knew we’d have a special relationship. It didn’t start off immediately with Him being my Dominant, but as I opened up to Him and Him to me, we realized that it would suit us well. We have a good balance of real life and sexual fantasy, and our balance is what makes things perfect. We spent a lot of time learning our likes and dislikes, what turns us on sexually, what makes us happy on a daily basis in normal life and the bedroom. We have a good core relationship and this is only the beginning.
In our D/s relationship, there are things He would like to see and things I would like to see. We are not yet 24/7 D/s, but I do know when, as we are talking, that it begins and of course I will always show him respect no matter if we have turned on the D/s or not. I can see this moving forward in so many good ways. Now, let’s begin:
Addressing each other:
There are times to show respect and times to be sweet. When He is training me, disciplining me, or assigning a task, I need to refer to Him as Sir or Master depending on the severity of the situation. Unfortunately right now, I am still getting into the habit and slip up once in awhile. I also need to make sure I never answer to him with sass as my personality is fun and a bit sarcastic, but I don’t want Him to misconstrue my tone as being disrespectful.
Calling him Daddy, My Love, or other sweet names are just that- they are for sweet times when we are showing each other love or holding one another. We are both suckers for sweetness and as I said earlier, we have balance. I would not have chosen to follow this path with Him if I didn’t think He could give me the love and sweetness to counter the demands and discipline of a D/s relationship. It’s obvious that I need both.
As for me, He calls me a few things right now depending on his mood. Anything from Kitten to Pet to Baby during sweet times. I love to think of Him as my Owner, so being His Pet makes me happy but in my Girl Brain being referred to as “HIS” is what melts me and makes me want to please Him. I think that as time goes on, He will find a perfect fit name for me that only He and I know that will wrap me around His finger even more.
Speaking to Him
I do want and NEED to remember to Thank Him when He teaches me, corrects me, or gives to me. Since I have never been in a very giving relationship (at least by the other party) it will certainly be different for me to be more mindful of my manners, but in the long run I know it will teach me patience and gratitude. As I said earlier, one of my challenges will be to not forget to address Him properly.
Another challenge I have with speaking to Him is my defensiveness. I have a bit of a stubborn ego and I am sure that is going to be one thing that leads me to a lot of discipline and will be a challenge for Him. I only hope I don’t wear Him out! When I can’t complete a task in His time frame because of work or other things, it bothers me. I want to please Him. He intends to set me up to fail and I guess this is part of the training. It will certainly knock me down a notch, but I know He will make sure I make up for disappointing Him and He will make sure I know I’m still loved.
Since we are in a long distance D/s relationship for the time being, what I would like to have for us is some kind of daily check in time. Maybe for me it would be to make sure He is the first one I contact when I wake and the last one I contact before I sleep. I really like this idea even if He is unavailable only because it solidifies the fact that He is the important One in my life. For Him I would like to see Him contact me at least in the evening if He is having a busy day. I know this summer He will have a different type of busyness than He does at work right now, but by establishing some sort of a check in time, we would each always have something to look forward to during the hectic of our days and we would still have that connection that I so direly need.
When I am by His side, I am already aware that I am to be touching Him at all times and of course this will be established more between us depending on the situation. I love that connection. I love the energy between us and let’s be honest, I am a sucker for attention so why would I ever complain about touching or being touched by my Sir?!
I look forward to the day that I can kneel on a pillow by His feet as He sits on His chair watching TV or whatever He pleases stroking me tenderly. I want to be there for Him to tend to His needs, heed His instruction, and feel His gratitude and love for a job well done.
HOMEWORK AND TASKS
My homework and tasks are very important. They are what keep us connected and they are what will bring us closer together. They are what will help us learn more about each other. He has already asked me much more about myself than so many others who have tried to get in my head.
My homework and tasks will be dictated by Him but have so far been things such as answering questions about myself or why I have done the things I have. There have also been tasks which include a photo sent to Him by a certain time showing Him I have done something whether it is just posing for Him, eating properly when I am told, or presenting myself or my toys to Him. He knows I try to accomplish everything, but I know He looks forward to me failing so He can punish me.
I am very lucky that I am a bit OCD. I keep a clean house. He would never have to worry about coming home from work to a disorganized home. As for me, I am very clean and of course well groomed. I could stand to lose weight, but it is a struggle we are both fighting and I am happy that He sees my potential and likes my shape. I think I might be harder on myself, but that is part of not only wanting to be happy, but wanting Him to be happy with me.
He likes a well dressed girl. Heels are definitely a plus for certain occasions which is good because I am a bit of an addict, but on the other hand He does not want high maintenance. He wants a girl who can go out and have fun getting dirty but still look cute doing it. I believe I fit the bill.
Sex and Orgasms
I say those separately because I know I don’t have to have sex to orgasm. In all honesty, I look forward to the day that He can whisper a word in my ear and the sound of His voice mixed with the cue will send me into quivering wetness.
Our sex play is going to also be a challenge for me. He likes to tease, torture, and hold back from me. He likes me to beg. I like instant satisfaction. I like feeling Him inside of me at all times whether I am sucking on Him or He is taking me pussy or ass. Being teased and made to wait is going to be hard. Just the thought of it makes me whine as I sit here. If ever He will see tears from me, it will be not only when I disappoint Him and He gets strict with me, but when He holds back from me and I swear I can’t handle it. I know patience will get me the orgasms I crave, but it is so difficult for me to wait.
As for the sex, I am His to do as He pleases. We have already discussed our minimal boundaries and I know I can always tell Him if I am uncomfortable with anything. We both have similar tastes in what pleases us. Both rough sex and making love are both turn on’s. I know that His sexual appetite also depends on His day and what aggression He may or may not have that He needs to release.
Toys will always come into play whether it is by restraint or dildos and vibrators. I love when He takes control, but I almost shudder to say that because I know He hasn’t shown me His full dominance yet. I do know the last time He used a toy on my, He fucked me so completely with it while kissing me sweetly the whole time, I squirt and cum more than I could believe. He knows what I need more than I do.
We have also talked about additional partners. While I do not at all feel comfortable having a make partner involved unless He is in the room with me or able to watch/participate in another way, I know that if another partner is introduced, he will have to be approved before he is welcomed. I am able to make suggestions if I want, but I will not have the final say. Again, I am not comfortable with having another man involved unless my Sir is present, I do not need anyone but Him so an additional involvement is purely for His pleasure in watching me get off while pleasing Him at the same time.
As for a female addition, I am allowed to have a girlfriend. Of course I would still approve this though Him, but as He says, I need someone to cuddle and have light play with while He is away. I love the idea that He wants to take care of my needs. He knows that I crave attention and love. If I were to acquire a girlfriend, she would eventually be introduced into play when Sir is home. Again, this is mostly for His pleasure as I know He wants to watch me be pleased by others and I also know that having an additional woman to help heighten His pleasure is something He looks forward to. This will be discussed between us further and more than likely come into play further into our relationship.
I am not one to share. I have had my share of liars and cheats in my life and I am not easy to trust anyone. I would not feel comfortable with Him being with another girl in my absence. I know that whatever He does, He will be honest with me and He has been which helps, but He knows how I feel and I also know a good deal about His thoughts on commitment. This is something we do need to discuss more. This might be the only thing that scares me about the direction we are taking because I am not sure what to expect. I have always been a one man kind of girl, so the thought of my one man being out with others on a play basis while I am gone kills me to the core. As I said, it will be a discussion we have to have.
Though the eventual goal is to be completely Owned and subservient to him at all times, I know there are times when He (and I) will need a break and really just need to hang out as friends. I have no problems with this at all. It is our balance. i don’t want him to have more stress in his life than He already has. I still want to be the one He talks to about everything. I think this balance will help keep us strong.
I also know that He will want me to take over control once in awhile. I highly doubt He will allow that for long, but I know He’ll have fun watching me try!