1. Page One

Tick tick tick tick Tick tick DING!

What the fuck was that?! My eyes open slowly, my head is pounding, and I’m freezing for some damn reason. I grab for the blanket but it smells different…almost musty or spicy. What the hell. This isn’t my bedroom. Where am I?!

I sit up and see that over in the corner is the reason for my wakening. Is that an old style typewriter? There doesn’t seem to be anyone else here but I still look for something to use as a weapon just in case. And of course, there is nothing.

When I get to the typewriter, I see two things. First of all, this is the oldest thing I have ever seen. It’s black with chipping paint where someone’s wrists may have spent a long time as their fingers typed away and the front of it says ROYAL. Secondly, the yellowish paper says only one thing: “Page One”. Great. Just to be a smart ass, I type something: “My name is Jack and I have no idea where the fuck I am.” When I hit return, the typewriter dings again. I can’t help but laugh.

Grey Matter Royal

But, this is no laughing matter. I’m in a room that is too damn chilly for me, in some damn ugly striped pajama pants I have never owned, and in a room I have never seen…yet I am relatively mellow. I don’t remember smoking enough to calm me for something like this!

I sit down on the spiral stairs that literally go nowhere, seriously, they end at the ceiling! I try to retrace my steps, but I can’t remember a damn thing other than my name and the fact that I am nowhere familiar. The stairs feel warm on my ass. It might be the warmest place in this room. As I place my hands and bare feet on the steps to warm them, I hear the most peculiar sound. I hear an elephant trumpeting and it sounds like its coming from the little, square door just behind this spiral staircase!

Ok, now I’m wondering if I’m trippin’ balls. Did someone slip me something? Looking at this door, I can’t help but want to open it…so open it, I shall!