Girl Brain vs Internal Navigation

Sitting here now with an ice pack between my legs…wait!! It’s not like that!  Let me explain…

Slept in this morning and I suppose it was a wild hair that overcame me because I decided to go for a walk before yoga.  I realize that half of the country is getting snow today, but here it is sunny as can be and about 76 degrees.  The weather helped fuel my desire to go outside.

Generally I walk in the neighborhood for about 3 miles which is nothing too strenuous, just a little bit of moving instead of sitting here at my computer.  I forgot my iPod, forgot to bring a tissue because for some reason my nose runs when I get exercise (WHY IS THAT?!!), and I didn’t bring my chapstick.  I did however have water and my phone. 

Up one block and over to the next I was noticing the flowers in bloom, the little lizards running across the sidewalk, and the cirrus clouds whisping towards the mountains.  I was utterly lost in my surroundings…eh, who was I kidding? I was just lost.  My lips were dry no matter how much water I drank (Why did I forget my chapstick?!).  All I could think was I didn’t want my lips all red for the Halloween festivities tonight.  My damn nose was running and I was half tempted to use my sleeve but oh yeah…it’s 76 degrees out so I wasn’t wearing sleeves.  Damn this!  The more irritated I started to get, the less I cared about the damn lizards and flowers.  I just wanted to get home.

Wait, where the hell was I?  I looked at a familiar street sign I always found amusing and thought I was heading the right way.  When my inner thighs started burning…or should I say chafing, I was really getting irritated.  I decided I was NOT going to yoga.  I was being tortured enough.  Ok Breathe.  I finally gave in and looked to my trusty map app on my stupid smart phone.  Ok, looks like I am…yep…right there.  1.6 miles the WRONG way.  Freakin’ spectacular. So I turned my happy ass around and started walking the other way. 

As I was doing my best not to lick my lips and trying not to pick up a leaf to wipe my nose, I was also trying to figure out a way to walk comfortably for the next 1.6 miles.  Seriously I have pride in my legs but sometimes I swear my damn inner thighs puff up for no reason. Oh how I wish I had some powder…and some chapstick…and a freakin’ tissue.  I was also irritated with the traffic that I was unable to block out with my iPod since I left that at home (apparenly I needed some traffic calming!).  What the hell was I thinking this morning?!

When I finally got home, 2 hours after I began, I checked the map and instead of walking my measly 3 miles, I walked 6.2.  So here I sit ice pack between my thighs to cool the chafing, tissue and chapstick in front of me, and I am happily sitting on my ass typing on my computer.  Yoga was cancelled and I am still baffled by the street sign…Girl Brain ONE  Internal Navigation ZERO.

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