Maybe running away into the woods wasn’t the best idea after all. It’s dark in here. I don’t like this; I don’t like it one bit. I didn’t ask to be here. Yes, it’s my fault and it’s my destiny, but this isn’t what I wanted….at least not yet.
The past few weeks all I have wanted to do was eat. Of course, running away doesn’t make gorging on food easy, but I’ve managed. I’ve been out here for weeks eating what I could find and in all honesty, I have doubled in size! I’m not kidding. When I say I’m an emotional eater, I mean it. There were days when I would find the most precious leaves or berries and eat them even though I knew they might make me sick. It didn’t matter. It still doesn’t matter. I’m dying anyway.
So now here I lay, in my makeshift hammock, full of food but not happy. I literally cannot move my arms. Maybe it was something I ate. I just wish I knew how to get out of this contraption. I only remember setting up the hammock. When I drifted off to sleep earlier, I was looking at a sky full of stars though a canopy of leaves. Yummy looking leaves, if I do say so myself. Hunger does strange things to one’s mind when lost in the woods! Think maybe I’ll just try to breathe, relax, stop worrying, and try to sleep a bit. If I’m lucky maybe this is all just a bad dream.
Well, so much for bad dream. This is more like a nightmare. It’s still dark and I can’t breathe. I feel like I’m suffocating. Everything feels wet like I’m sitting in soup. I finally was able to will one of my fingers to move and it feels like my body has melted. I swear I didn’t eat any mushrooms. I don’t think I ate any poisonous plants. I’m telling you, my body has MELTED and I am soup!! What the hell is going on? I want to go back home. I want to be back with my friends. I never should have left, I just didn’t want to be what they wanted me to be. I wanted to find myself. I wanted to be myself. I just wanted some time alone, time to think, time to center. Now here I am stuck in this envelope of darkness sitting in my own bodily fluids…disintegrated. And, I’m itchy. Can you believe that? I have no body parts to move, except the one finger that took all my energy to move, and I am itchy. What the fuck.
Must have passed out from the thought of what I have done to myself, but things are different now. I can move my body to some extent though it doesn’t seem like my body. I’m very confused. I feel like I have, well…gained body parts, though I have lost others. Yes, I’m sure you’re raising an eyebrow. If I have any, they are raised too. I’m still itchy and there are big arms or something on my back. I can’t feel my legs so I am thinking they never came back from the soup. The good thing is, the darkness is lifting and I can see some light. I have been looking around as much as I can to see if I can push my way out of this enclosure I have somehow ended up in. I know this will sound weird, but I have been poking around with my tongue. I don’t feel like I have a mouth anymore, more like just a tongue. Oh what did I do to myself?!
Finally!! I broke a hole through the enclosure! I just have to wiggle out of this thing since I don’t have a way to push myself out. This isn’t easy, but I have emerged!! I still feel wet. The sun feels so good! Good thing I had a little peek of light as I was finding my way out because it is so bright out here. I look to see what has happened to my body and…Oh my God. OH MY GOD!! I do have legs! They’re tiny, scrawny little things but at least I have them. But…BUT…the most miraculous thing has happened!!! I. Have. Wings! I have big, beautiful, orange and black wings. How did this happen? Is this what my friends were talking about when they said I had to fulfill my destiny? If so…how stupid I am. How stupid I was for running away! I was supposed to grow into a butterfly!
Oh I can’t wait to fly! Dry wings, dry! All this time, I have been just fine walking through the woods and I just wanted to be left alone. Now, soon as I can dry these wings, I will be able to fly over the woods. Ok, let’s try this…Right one flaps, Left one flaps, they both flap together. Here we go!! This is breathtaking. It’s beautiful. I can see everything, flowers, leaves, birds and bees. Oh and those flowers look so lovely. I am going to fly to every flower in the forest and take a sip of its nectar. I’m so happy…to think that all that fear and darkness has led to all this light and happiness. If only I’d have known, but now…now I will never go back. This is wonderful! This is my new life!