PSHHH! I just released the air brakes on my rig. I was home, finally, for the next ten days. I had waited for this moment since the last time I was here. I walked into the apartment. I was rushed and licked by the Odd One. He is always so excited when I get home.
I keep telling him no. Everything he asks while I am not by his side, I tell him no. -Have you cum today. Kitten? No, Sir. – Have you played with your toys today, Kitten? No, Sir. Does he want honesty? Or does he want me to say yes and play? He’s never told me
“Where did He wander off to?” I asked one of the others who were standing at the backyard tiki bar. “Think he went inside to deal with Elle,” one of them said. Deal with her? That means she was drinking too much and on who knows what kind of drugs so she was acting erratically.
Furiously Happy: A Funny Book About Horrible Things by Jenny Lawson My rating: 4 of 5 stars Crazy! No wonder I’ve loved Jenny since I first found her. The book has its ups & downs but I was able to envision her descriptions of the best parts. How can you not get a giggle out
Tick tick tick tick Tick tick DING! What the fuck was that?! My eyes open slowly, my head is pounding, and I’m freezing for some damn reason. I grab for the blanket but it smells different…almost musty or spicy. What the hell. This isn’t my bedroom. Where am I?! I sit up and see that
The humid air hits me and I gasp for air. I step through the door onto the mossy ground of an actual jungle! There are huge trees with vines and the ground is mushy with moss. I know it’s daytime but I can’t see the sky because the trees are so thick with leaves that
DING! Oh my God. Oh Fuck. My head is killing me. Ugh. The sheets smell musty again. Must be in the same damn room. My eyes bolt open and I sit upright. Where the hell is my arm?! From my left elbow down is nothing. NOTHING. Ok. Breathe. Settle down. If I don’t settle, I’ll
Ding! Nooo…go away. DING! Fucking typewriter. I open my eyes expecting to see the ceiling over the bed, but I’m sitting upright at the Royal typewriter. My one hand is on the keys and the paper loaded on the spool says “Page One”. Why the hell am I always one page one?! Why the hell